i went back into the basement and dug out my file from the easter house...this time i was a little smarter about it. i took pictures of the pages since there was no available photocopiers...but it seemed to have worked well enough. Suz found my mother's d.o.b. and she says that's really helpful. its strange though...having thought one thing all your life, and then have that not be even slightly true...turns out i was not abandoned...and while i thought i would be happy about that, i'm really not sure what i feel. i was so angry for so long, but now i know that i really had no reason to be. i don't know, it's a lot to think about...but im glad i know the truth. finally.
i don't know how much help some of my friends are going to be in all of this. i'm not sure anyone really "gets it". i was talking to one of my friends a little while ago...and while i know her intentions were good, nothing she said was making me feel any better. actually it took everything in me to not lash out and tell her how little of an idea she really has what it's like. this is just going to be hard for a while. at least until i settle into the idea.
time for bed. i deserve a good night's sleep tonight.
No comments:
Post a Comment