They loved my commercial work; they hated my logo, but loved the photographs. We disagreed on individual images and their success, but everything was going smoothly...until someone mentioned the alternate postcard (which bore the image to the left). The text on the back of the card was rusted and weathered. It is a complete 180 from my commercial postcard. The consensus was that "any joe schmo off the street could have taken it." They claimed it was the token "first quarter" photograph that every amature needs to take to get it out of their system. I asked them to please refer to my provided artist's statement before commenting further. They did. It was silent.
The same judge who first noted the stark difference in images spoke up again. "So this is something separate from your commercial work?" I replied, "Absolutely. My fine art and my commercial work are two separate entities entirely. I work extremely hard to make sure they never cross." He asked why. I was thoroughly confused. I made a joke in asking him to please re-read the artist's statement. His reply was this: "So essentially you are two different people when you photograph." "I have to be," is all I said...and I began to cry.
I don't think that judge realized how his observation affected me. I tried my best to smile and blink back the tears that were fighting so hard to flow. I was failing miserably and no one understood why. For a brutal fifteen minutes we went back and forth: he insisted that I find the way to merge the two, because "surely, if a family with an adopted child realizes how passionate you are about this cause, they won't care either way and in the end will still hire you." I told him that he was, of course, entitled to his opinion but that it was perhaps naive and ill-informed.
How could anyone not affected by adoption ever fully realize: I am two different people entirely.
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