Gradutaion is right around the corner. Three more days and I will no longer be considered a student! I will be saying goodbye to Philadelphia and 'hello' to Connecticut once again. I'm going to be a grown up! It's exciting and scary and sad and amazing and every emotion under the sun all rolled into one day.
Amidst the excitement, however, there will be a touch of longing. S*, my first mother, won't be in attendence. This is a fact I have been struggling with for a few months now. She has held an open invitation since the summer, but seems unable to take the time off of work. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about it. On one hand, I understand completely. Work is work. You have to go. There's some mountain lion trapped in resedential Las Vegas who needs her. But at the same time, I need her.
In 2006, when I was first reconnected with S*, one of the first trains (floods?) of thought I experienced was the instant excitement that she would see me graduate. What child doesn't want their mother present at their graduation? It's just something I always assumed would happen.. that she would be there.
There's not much else I can say, except that I will miss her on Friday; that I will carry her in my locket and it will have to suffice. And that I hope to God my a-mom and S* uphold their promise that the first time they meet will not be on my wedding day.
No comments:
Post a Comment